1. Yesterday, I dreamed that God said that it would satisfy me a wish. I took out the earth and said that he wanted the world peace. He said that it was too difficult to change one. I took out your photo and said that this person would become beautiful. He thought for a while. Take a look.
2. A woman is ugly, and she cannot marry, hoping to be trafficked. Finally dreaming came true, but couldn't sell it half a month. The kidnappers returned it back. She resolutely did not get out of the car. The kidnapper gritted her teeth: Go, the car does not need
3, 20 years ago, my father hugged you and waited for the car. Cried. The old man who sold bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, take a banana for the monkey! It's so pitiful. A parrot said to the stewardess: "Give a glass of water for the grandfather." The pig also learned the parrot and said to the stewardess: "Come a cup of water for the grandfather." The stewardess was furious and threw the parrot and the pig. At this time, the parrot said to the pig: "Silly, the grandfather will fly."
5. There is an old farmer in the ground, a crow flew, pulled the shit and fell on the old farmer's face On the top, the old farmer looked up and scolded: "Relying on your mother! I don't know how to wear pants when I go out!" The crow said, "Damn! You shit to wear pants!"
6. A moment of rise, I bought a female parrot. I didn't expect to take it home. The first sentence it said was: "Do you want to go to bed with me?" In when Ms. heard: Break, outsiders thought this was taught. Destroy my lady's image. So she tried her best to say something elegant, but the female parrot was iron -hearted, and she only said one sentence: "Do you want to go to bed with me?" Woolen cloth? When the lady lost her claim, I heard that the priest also had a parrot (male), and the parrot, not only did not speak rough, but was a devout Christian, praying most of the day. So the lady went to the priest for help. After the priest understood her intention, her complexion said slightly: "This, it is difficult to do. In fact, the parrot did not deliberately teach it. For reason. " The priest saw that the lady was very lost, and said," So, you bring the parrot to me, and I put them together. I hope that after a period of time, your parrot can be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be. I can only do this. If there is any effect, it depends on God's will ... " Mades can only do this, isn't there a saying: Is there a saying: Is the Zhu Zhechi? Try it. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest placed the two parrots together according to the promise. At the beginning of the female parrot, there was still a bit restrained. Looking at the corner of the cage, the male parrot prayed silently, and he really couldn't bear it. But she still couldn't control herself, and finally said, "Do you want to go to bed with me?" The male parrot heard this, stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrot, and suddenly tears under the rain: "Thank you God, my wish for so many years has finally realized ... "
7. Girls don't say that The man said to a woman:" I invite you to dinner. " The female said: "Make a change."
8. Money -saving barrel has a widow to buy cucumber and instructed not to sliced, but the forgotten of the cucumber was cut. When the widow saw it, he scolded: "Do you fucking as a money barrel?"
9. Internship . A large group of girls go to the farm for internship, the farm bishop squeeze milk, demonstrate After finishing, teach everyone to try it in person. At this time, a girl saw that others had squeezed a small half -cylinder and it was only a little bit, which was very puzzled. The farmer came to see: Miss, you not only squeezed the wrong place, but also chose the wrong cattle.
10. A handsome guy wants to buy condoms The handsome guy wants to buy condoms. Oh, no 7 inches ... Oh, God, hurry up to toilet paper. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence
11. Seeing his ex -girlfriend and Xinhuan flirting The shadow pig was just abandoned by his girlfriend. He happened to be a girlfriend on the street and flirting with Xinhuan. So he was very polite and greeted him, and said to his girlfriend Xinhuan very contempt: "You're not disliked the old goods I have used!" When he was proud of himself, his ex -girlfriend laughed: "One inch outside is old, and the inside is brand new!"
12. I missed Neram names, if the final score is not deducted at the end of the period! When I read a brother, I jumped over, so he shouted, "Teacher, you missed it!" The old teachers who took the Huajia year to look down and said, "No ~"
13. In a summer, a young man in slippers, on a bus, he sat down and lifted Erlang's legs. On the opposite side, a girl wearing a mini skirt (not wearing underwear), the car, the car, the car, the car opened! Intersection Sudden! A brake! The young man's feet were inserted into the girl's BB, hey! That's it! After two days, the girl felt that her BB was uncomfortable, so she went to the hospital to the hospital. As soon as the doctor checked, he said, "Wow, your BB gets athlete, strange" At this moment, the door was pushed pushed by pushing After opening, the other doctor came in and said, "What's strange about this? Just now there is a young man's feet with syphilis!".
14. Before the dressing dance, the wife suddenly became uncomfortable, so she called her husband to go to the meeting. Later, the wife consciously got better, so she changed into a fashion that her husband had never seen before, and drove to the ball. As soon as she entered the door, the wife saw her husband and other women scolding and scolding, and couldn't help but jealous and burn, and decided to test the husband. She walked beside her husband, she was charming, and she hugged her arms. In the end, he seduced him to the back garden and enjoyed it. At midnight, the wife left quietly when everyone was about to take off the mask. Her husband did not return until 3 am. "How about the dance?" The wife asked. "It's not fun at all." Husband answered. "What exactly did you do there?" The wife asked again again. "Tell you honestly," Husband said, "When I got there, I saw a few friends who didn't bring his wife, so we played cards in the study." "Are you playing cards all night?" Scream. "Yes, but I borrowed my clothing and mask to another old friend. The guy boasted to me at the end of the ball, saying that this was the most wonderful night in his life!
15. On the night of the cave, the bride has taken off the clothes to go to bed. The groom also took off his shirt, shirt, and tie, but when he was in the shoe, he encountered trouble. As he connected, the bride hurriedly said, "It's stupid, there is a knife there, and the knife is cut off! " The bride's mother in order to understand everything, she wondered in the next room. When she heard the bride said so, she yelled:" No, you can't use a knife. " "She said," Tell him, just apply some saliva. "
16. There is a couple. Husband likes to play bured balls but also afraid of his wife. His wife loves smoking. One night, his wife found that her cigarette was finished, so she asked her husband to buy it. There was no way to buy it, but it was very late. The nearby small sales department was closed. This could be tushed. The husband suddenly thought that the bar should be selling smoke. There was a beautiful lady on the stage, so he walked forward to chat with the lady, and then opened the room together. In the middle of the night, the husband suddenly thought of forgetting to buy cigarettes for his wife, and he was afraid of his own. The wife knew that he would kill him afterwards, so he asked the lady if she had talc powder. The lady was very strange but she was still given him. The husband put the talc powder on his own hand and went home. When I saw my wife standing there, my wife asked my husband: "Where did you die! " The husband replied honestly," There is no place to sell smoke on the roadside, I went to the bar and went to the bar. I saw a beautiful lady. " The wife said to her husband after listening," Put out your hand! " The husband obediently stretched out his hand to let his wife look at it. The wife said angrily," Don't say you are going to play the ba "with friends!" What's wrong with your hand! "
17. There are couples to stay in the suburbs. The owner of the hotel told them to contain more, because there is often a phenomenon of power outages at night. Instead, they think it is very exciting, so they agreed that as soon as the power outage is found, they will be intimidated once. Sure enough to stop the electricity every two hours. After several times, the man had to drag his tired body to find a hotel to find a hotel. The boss discussed; "Boss, I would like to pay more money, but please help, change it to four hours to stop the electricity? " The hotel owner said with a smile:" I am happy to help you, but unfortunately you have stepped a step late. Just now your girlfriend has paid more money, the condition is to stop electricity every half an hour. Intersection "
18. Carrots saw the ham sausage and said: Wow! Really rich, all wearing leather clothes. Ham sausage: What is this, you look at the sausages, wearing leather, we are still wearing This artificial leather.
19. Kangaroo and frogs go chicken. Kangaroo is finished three or two times, only the frog next door is one, two or three! , Kangar said, "Wow! ~~ Brother Frog, you are great! "The frog said," CAO, Lao Tzu didn't jump into bed overnight! ~~
20. There is a shy little boy, a good -looking and elegant woman. Shy, he secretly observed her life every day, and finally found a cycle -she would eat noodles in a certain shop every day. He felt that the timing was already mature, so he first waited for her to wait for her one day. When she entered the shop, he took a deep breath and courage to ask her name. said, "Miss, what is your name?" The lady opened her big eyes and said to him, "My name is beef noodles."
21. The couple danced in the ballroom. The husband said with emotion: "This world is really weird, and the ugly stupid man has a beautiful wife." The wife smiled and said, "Dear, you will really shoot."
22. The love letter of Zhu Bajie (funny) Magnolia: Hello! Yesterday, a sad day in the world finally left. I want to be with the other two old bachelors, one named Sun Wukong and the other named Tang Seng, and it may only come back to Xitian for three or five years. Murn the mood when I leave Gao Laozhuang? I am three steps and a pig's head. How do I want to stay in Gao Laozhuang and live a happy life of communism. I have plowed the field, you woven, I pick dung, you stock up. He and Meimei, love and love. When your father straighted his legs, we worked together to give birth to a large group of pigs. Then work together to send them to study, and in the future, it will be cultivated into a million pigs and Dr. Pig. A sense of accomplishment. When we are so old that there is only one incisor, we will not regret because of the years of virtuality, nor will we be ashamed of inaction. We dare to pat the fat and say that all our lives and all their energy are all our energy. It has been dedicated to the most magnificent career of pigs and struggles for the penetration of pigs. . Unfortunately, all these beautiful dreams were broken by the damn monkey. Let you take it away, and I also burn my hole. I worked hard for so many years, saved money, dare to kill three hundred steamed buns in a meal, and finally bought the snowflakes of twenty -inch color TVs, and a bulldozer passing fan, all of which were dedicated by the dead monkey. Love donation to the hardest hit area-Yan Wang. Although color TVs are often full of snowflakes, electric fans often emit bullet -like roar, which are all piled up. Dead monkeys, if it wasn't for him, I would definitely kill him, chop it into a lot, and dry it under the sun. The monkey hasn't eaten it, one day I will let you taste it. The damn monk, what bird sutra to go to Xitian. I suggest that he uses the door to mail to the door, or the door to Hong Kong is air transport. He didn't listen to it, so he had to take it by himself. He is timid and has to call a big group of people. In addition, there are also fear of aircraft, ramores, terror ships ... In addition to riding a mule horse with a severe homosexual tendency, what he sees. There are also this kind of blame, and the country should quickly pay for money and set up a protective fund. Besides, what's the use of it? It is purely placed in the study as the facade, which makes people unable to know the identity of his peasant entrepreneurs. I know so much. You can't say it, catching up with the superior Rulai is an old confusion, and Guanyin happens to be menopause. It annoyed me to be easy to laid off. There is no way, there are difficulties to go, and there is no difficulty to create difficulties. Magnolia, really reluctant to be reluctant. As the saying goes, one day husband and wife hundreds of days, our husband and wife are two years, although you always hold the sharp scissors, I have never touched you with one finger, and we have no one. Get a driving license from the bed issued by the civil affairs department, but after all, we have lived together for two years. Thinking of the little bit of we live together, I am like a knife hinge (this is an idiom, Lanlan, I am afraid you don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand. So to explain it, it means to hold my heart in my hand and cut it with scissors. I checked a lot of dictionaries to find out). I know you are uncomfortable in your heart, but what can be? Ancient people: If the two feelings are in the morning and evening (the ancestor is a bit yellow, please do not blame the lady), Magnolia, you must wait for me to come back. And I will definitely organize the return of the township to kill. In this regard, Lanmei must have confidence. Mi Lanmei and Lanhua Tingting Jade Peor brother Bajie tears book Xuantong 13 years of Gengzi
3, "Journey to the West": There was a sincere sincerity The love is in front of me. I didn't cherish it. When I lost it, I regret it. The most painful thing in the world is there. Your sword is cut off on my throat! Don't hesitate anymore! If God can give me a chance to come again, I will say three words to that girl: I love you.如果非要在这份爱上加上一个期限，我希望是——一万年rnrn 周星弛泡妞经典对白(先有心理准备..~笑死你)rn . Bus platform
Week Xingxing: "Miss you stepped on my feet."
beautiful chick: "No, I'm so far away from you."
Week Xingxing: "I mean, if you accidentally put your feet on my feet, just step on my feet."
"
Week Xingxing:" Wow, Miss Good Eyes, I do have a history of neuropathy, and generally see beautiful girls. That's it, saying something boring, intentionally attracted the girl's intention. It seems that I think I am handsome.
Week Xingxing: "Miss you wrong, I never thought I was handsome, but I was myself. Very handsome. "
beautiful chick:" Don't be so disgusting. I want to vomit. "
Week Xingxing:" I can ask you before you vomit The question? beautiful chick: "Roll ........."
. On the bus
beautiful chick: "Why is you again? "
Week Xingxing:" Sometimes I really do everywhere. Sitting next to me. "
Week Xingxing:" Miss, you figured it out, I just sat in a empty position, and there was just you next to the empty position. " . Per beautiful chick: "Why don't you go in front of the empty position? "
Week Xingxing:" Oh, understand, do you want to see my ass, or I use your butt to see you? "
beautiful chick:" Quickly roll ... "
3. Get off the bus
Intersection "
Week Xingxing:" It's not because of you anyway! I like to wander. "
beautiful chick:" I sue you sexually harass, which unit you? "
Week Xingxing:" Are you talking about a catty or Jiao Er, Newton? "
Per beautiful chick:" Am I familiar with you? I always say this kind of nonsense, I'm sorry, I don't have a cold! "
Week Xingxing:" Yeah, we are not familiar with it at all. We are like two blue strawberries with a branch. After watching a few times a few times, I learned a few words of Tang Seng. Do you think you are humorous? "
Week Xingxing:" Humor is natural, to blame my mother. By the way, my dad ... "
beautiful chick:" Nerve. "
Week Xingxing:" Your mother's nerves. "
beautiful chick:" your mother's nerves. "
Week Xingxing:" You you Looking at you, it is obviously your mother, but you want to say that it is my mother. Do you want to ... "
beautiful chick:" Give me ... "
. The door of Kenyou
Per beautiful chick: "No, why am I so unlucky and encounter you." n weeks Once, I think the sin of my life must be very important. Dare. I will call. "
beautiful chick:" What is it? "
Week Xingxing:" Non -gift. "
beautiful chick:" Do you think someone will care about you? "
Week Xingxing: "It's not good, I don't come back."
beautiful chick: "Tianla, you have such a rogue, it is really blind! "
Week Xingxing:" Well, yes, otherwise there will be no so -called elite in the world. "
beautiful chick:" .... .... "
5. Kenyi
beautiful chick:" Don't talk, I am annoying when you speak. "
Zhou Xingxing: "I haven't said it yet, is it good to say something? "
The beautiful chick:" I told you not to say it, you talk about just flies, disgusting. "
Week Xingxing:" Oh, Originally, it can play such a big role. It is really amazing, weeping ghosts, can I do part -time job? "
beautiful chick:" What do you do? " N -week Xingxing: "Go to the hospital to help people apply gastric."
beautiful chicks: "You didn't save it, go back to the cooking early."
Week Xingxing : "I have no request before dying. I just want to say a few words to you, and I'm afraid you will not agree. Do you promise?"
beautiful chick Consider. "
Week Xingxing:" Will you ask me if you want me? n 6. Kentucky
beautiful chick: "Do you have no girlfriend? Sursing on Sunday?"
Week Xingxing: "Accurate I said that I do n’t have a girlfriend, but there are female friends, what do you ask this? n Week Xingxing: "Okay, why not? You seem to be a person I love. "
beautiful chick:" Who? .. "
Week Xingxing:" My old mother. She also always likes to ask this. "
beautiful chicks:" If not on the street, there are so many people on the street Looking at it, I really want to beat you. "
Week Xingxing:" I'm not afraid of others to see you beat me, what are you afraid of? How about you, don't you accompany your boyfriend? "
Per beautiful chick:" Don't care! "
Week Xingxing:" Oh, I understand. I was abandoned by my boyfriend, I wanted to find a psychological balance. Simply. Let me find it, I don't want to find. "
Week Xingxing:" Consider me, I eat some loss. "
It's disgusting. "
Week Xingxing:" I can act as your interim actor unconditionally, if you need a boyfriend, please play *********** "
Per beautiful chick: "By then,"
Week Xingxing: "Tell me your phone,"
Let's talk about it again. I will scold you again. .................rnrn 七.各自回家rnrn 漂亮小妞:“奇怪,我真的好想发Scolding him. "
Week Xingxing:" Hehe. "She doesn't mess with me to scold me."
beautiful chicks: I like the rogue? There were two birds who raised the gun and fell down one, and found that there was no hair. The hunter was wondering, and the other bird flew down and scolded the hunter: "You TM! As soon as I picked her up, you hit her! "
25. In the middle of the night, Bush saw Laden standing in front of his bed, and his head was distributed. Bush was shocked: You are so bold, dare to break through the White House! Laughing, saying: Piaorou is so confident!
26. Because of the poor mountain areas, men are used to make underwear with urea bags, a newcomer is married, men remove trousers, bride, bride, bride Screaming, fainting: I saw the positive "net weight 25 kg" in the front of the underwear.
27. One day, the sparrow met a crow, the sparrow asked: What are you bird? Phoenix, the sparrow said: How can you have such a black phoenix like your turtle son? The crow said: You know a shovel, Lao Tzu is the phoenix with a boiler.
1. In the body of the human body, the female model plays a good posture. A boy raised his hand and said, "Report the teacher, it is not this posture yesterday." said, "How to adjust?" It should be left to the left, the right leg should be left to the right! "
2, a lady saw the B -ultrasound checklist given by the doctor but did not know where to do it. Miss: Doctor, where is this 13 super? D doctor: not 13 super, B -ultrasound! Miss: You are too open! (Loud)
3, Xiaoming: "What is the happiest thing"? A dumb: "sex"! Xiaoming: "That's happier than this"? A dumb: "Do it again"!
4, a small teacher eats. The students to lead students to read the text on one day. Teacher: "Day ... Day ... Japanese devils entered the village" The students followed: "Day ... Japan ... Japanese devils enter the village." The teacher next to the class laughed. This teacher is anxious and said to the students: "No matter how many times I, you only once a day."
5, A Dang: "Why don't the ramen I want? Wait a long time!" guy: "Don't worry, the master is pulling!" said The master came with the hot noodles, and said enthusiastically: "This is what I just pulled! Still hot! Please eat and eat!" 6, the salesman was busy for a week because of his work for a week If he is not at home for five days, he naturally apologize to his wife and wants to use her full weekend to compensate her! One Saturday, when they were intimate on the bed where they could make a quack ... Suddenly! Intersection The old lady next door knocked on the wall hard and shouted: You are endless! Intersection Intersection Seven days a week! Can't you rest for a day?
7, the president and his wife inspect the pig farm. President: "How many times do you mate with the sow for a day?" Lord: "There are average ten times a day!" People! Look at you again! " President:" Is that kind of pig mating with the same sow every day? " Lord:" No, it is mating with different sows Yes. " The president said to his wife," Look at others! Look at you again! "
8, Mr. Lin's wife's birthday, asked Lin Sheng to take her to the strip dance hall to open the market to open away At the horizon, Lin Sheng was entangled, and he had to do it. When he went to the door of the striptea, the waiter said politely: "Mr. Lin, welcome to" Mr. Lin stopped nervously, but Mrs. Lin looked at it angrily. Thenading the dancer, the leader: "Welcome, Mr. Lin, do you still sit on the old seat?" The performance of the performance, the strip dancer twisted the waist and the wares with the rhythm of music, took off the clothes on the body one by one. This shouting: "Who is this one?" "Of course, Mr. Lin!" The guests said in unison. In at this time, Mrs. Lin was faint. Mr. Lin quickly picked her up and took a car. Mrs. Lin suddenly soberly cursed: "You scammer bastard, beast!" This driver listened to the driver, "Mr. Lin, the girl you are looking for tonight is very spicy. ! "
9, a couple Qingqing I am affectionate. women: What do you think now? men: the same as you think. The woman immediately slapped the man and scolded: You hooligan!
10, the monitoring teacher who eats a bite found that a student was cheating, and he pointed at the student and yelled: You ... you ... you ... you ... you dare to cheat, stand up! The language, 5 students stood up!
11, a psychiatric person screamed: I am president, you all have to listen to me! This doctor asked him: Who said? I patients: God said. I heard here, a patient next to him jumped up: I never said it!
12, Mom and Dad took A Dang to the beach in California for vacation. foreigners on the beach are naked naked. A Dad: Dad, why is your chickens not as big as those uncle? Daddy: ... because ... those uncle is rich than Dad. . After a while. A Da wanted to drink cola, and his father went to the shop to buy it. A Dang and his mother stayed on the beach, but when his father returned, he found that his mother was missing. Daddy: What about your mother? A Dad: Dad, after you left, he came to a rich uncle. He looked at my mother, and more and more money was. Later, my mother went with him.
14, the car between Xinjiang and Henan people collided. People from Xinjiang looked down and felt that there were not much problem with the car. Forget it. people of Henan also smiled and said that there was no problem, taking a bottle of wine from the car. people from Henan: Big brother, there are no big problems in the car, drink some wine and be shocked! The Xinjiang people took a big sip and handed them to Henan. In Xinjiang: Brother, come on too. Henan people: I am not in a hurry, I will drink after the police come to see it.
15, a female forest lost, was caught by the monkey group by the monkey king. In a few months after returning home. The husband was anxiously waiting outside the delivery room. finally came out. husband: mother and child are safe? D doctor: Everyone is safe. husband: boy and girl? It doctor: I don't know. I ran away before I was born.
16. In a day of a restaurant to engage in police and civilians, the police eat for free. In a female policeman walked straight towards the door after eating, and the waiter in the hotel hurried forward to stop her. Is: Police free, you are not a police officer at a glance, you have to pay! Is female police: I am a secret police officer, the beard is below!
17, husband drove out. The wife listened to the radio at home and heard a report, the wife quickly picked up the phone. Wife: Husband, I just listened to the broadcast that there is a car on the highway that is retrograde. You must be careful. The husband: What is one? I see hundreds of cars are retrograde.
18, the village chief returned from abroad. The village chief told his wife that the foreigner's woman was barking on the bed, very embarrassing. It closure his eyes with his wife at night Village chief: "Why don't you call?" n 19, Xiaoxin: Dad, why do I have three gold in my name? Daddy: You are short of gold in your life, so name is Xin, just like some people who lack water in life, it is named Miao, and some lives are lacking wood. Xiaoxin: Dad, what do you say that Sister Guo Jingjing lacks?
20, Xiaoming loves to watch detective dramas. From the first minute of the opening, he was looking for the murderer and did not miss a suspicious word or a foreshadowing. This day, go to the show again, called "Park Street Murder". Is when the waiter led him to his seat, the curtain just opened. The waiter: "Are you satisfied with the seat? Sir." Xiaoming: "Of course, thank you." N Xiaoming: "No, thank you." Xiao Ming thought he should leave, but the waiter did not. The waiter: "Do you want a program list?" Xiaoming: "No, thank you." This: "Then with stills on it." Xiaoming: "Thank you. " The waiter:" Or a telescope? "Xiaoming refused angrily. The waiter asked if he wanted chocolate cakes, or not to have a bottle of champagne, the plot began to be tense. Amming is angry and anxious: "No, don't, you see the ghosts." The waiter finally found that he could not make a tip here, so he gave Xiaoming a terrible revenge. On the stage, in Xiaoming's ear full of hatred: "The murderer is the gardener."
1. A male deer, it walks, getting faster and faster, and finally it becomes a highway (deer) !!!! 2. Two tomatoes cross the road, a car passes by, One of them was not too late to be flattened, and the other tomato pointed at the flattened tomato with a smile: dig hahaha, tomato sauce ... 3. "I want to eat you !!!" Guess, what's wrong? This Big Gray Wolf ate the lamb. 4. Stone and rice cakes fight, and the stone flew into the sea and kicked the rice cake into the sea ... Fixed life, but boys need to take military service, so they made an oath with the girl and gave the girl a diamond ring. They promised to meet the girl today three years later. At that time, the ring was used as a wedding ring. The year has passed, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she can't wait. She is too sad. She is desperate to throw the diamond ring into the sea and walk away in the country. But the boy has always been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood it The place of dating, so he always became a regret. The boy was sad ... After a few years, the boys went out to fish and guess what he caught? year cake !!! 5. Girls This Boys have foreskin because of the dumplings 6. There is a duck called Xiao Huang. One day he was hit by a car, and he yelled, "Oh!" From then on, he became a cucumber !! 7. The match stick suddenly felt itchy, so he reached out and scratched himself ... 8. In the past, there was a bird R n but unfortunate one day the fire in the corn field All corn turned into popcorn In the birds flying over ... thought it was under Snow, it was cold ... 9. When will Taiwan want to be unified? Is when buying instant noodles 10. A pine and Abai have nothing to chat with each other. A Song: "Recalling children's time, the happiest is Children's Day." Aba: "After ten years is Youth Day." Ason The year is Father's Day. " Abai:" It's the Old Man's Day in more than decades. " Aatong:" Another decades. " Abai:" Qingming " 11. Soldiers:" Thirst ... thirst ... " Cao Cao:" Everyone persist for a while! I used to go to this place, remember that there is a Merlin nearby, and it may be possible for a while for a while. It came " The soldiers:" Oh, there are plums to eat ￣￣￣ " half an hour later -Cao Ren:" Lord! The expedition found a lot of water source water sources ! " Cao Cao:" Hahahaha, do you hear it? Finally, there is water to drink " The soldiers:" Don't go ... must find a plum ... "12. A girl lost love, I Persuaded her: "The toad with two legs is not easy to find, there are men with three legs!" 13. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I stupid child?" Dad said, "Stupid child How can you be a silly child? " 14. A three -point steak and a 5 -point steak met on the street. Why did they say hello? (Assuming they can speak) because ............................ because of .............................. Because they are not familiar with it ~~~~~~~~ 15. Question: How to make The sparrow is quiet? Answer: Press it. Reason: The crow is silent (silent). 16. A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to the electric pole, and then asked him: "Say, do you have to die if you don't say !!!" This college student returned to the enemy In a word, he was killed by electricity ... He said, "I am from electricity!" 17. A: "I take you to a place where all girls do not wear bras." n B: "Really? Where is it? Take me to go!" : "Just in the kindergarten next door!" 18. : "Which female host do you admire the most in your mind?" The audience said, "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked: "Why do you say this?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!" 19 Do you know what color is Spider -Man? red, wrong! is white does not believe you read the English of Spider -Man: Spider Man (a white man) 20. Why will Xiao Ming fall? Please think twice ... ……………………… .. because the floor is slippery 21. After a group of animals open the party, rush into the 7-11 convenience store to buy things, because it is too noisy, but the shop clerk was beaten out by the clerk. , But staying alone in the store, why is it? The convenience store is not snoring for 24 hours .............. 22. The glass and coffee cup cross the road. Suddenly someone shouted: The car is coming! This cup was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was okay. Why? The coffee cup has ears! 23. One horse said that our company launched a new product, Fart 3, referred to as mp3 ... 24. I hate two people most: n The second is the black man; is unknown! 25. I want to thank Ogawa, Chaohelan, Nagase Ai, Mika Ryoko, Takashiko Mary, Kawamoto Dance, Womani Hitomi, Natsuki Mei Xi, Naoshi, Kudo Kwai, Koyama in the hills. , Kishikawa Misui, Nishida Yuki, Sawai Yongjie, Fujiizaki Caihua, Ye Shanyu, Akiraki Chihiro, Matsuyama, Yuki, and Quan Shizuka, etc. Or the exotic friends who are still in the computer: Every night when people are quiet, they have spent one lonely night with me; when my spirit is the most unwilling, they come to comfort me in a timely manner; When you do your best, it is the pleasure of making me feel unobstructed; when my state is sluggish, there is no feelings, it is that they make me spirit with it ~ 26. Now the earthquake prediction accuracy has indeed improved a lot. Two words: prediction in "Heilongjiang", but the result is "Jiujiang"! 27. Zhang Liangying said: "The worship of my fans said — the idol is called Ying" He Jie said, "The worship of my fans said — the idol is called Jie" Said: "The worship of my fans said — the idol is called Chang" Li Yuchun said, "You talk, I'll go first!" 28 .. Five Fuwa gathered together to chat. Belbe proposed: Let's give ourselves a nickname, my name is "Bawa"! Crystal: Then I am called "Crystal Wa"! Huanhuan: My name is "Huanwa"! Nini: My name is "Nava"! stood up and said: You talk, I have something to do, go first ... In said that in 2058, five Fuwa gathered together to chat. Belbe: Let's talk about our nickname, people respect me very much, call me "Beiye"! I Huanhuan: People call me "Huanye"! Nini: People call me "Ni Ye"! Welcoming: People call me "Ying Ye"! Kengjing stood up and said: You talk, I have something to do, go first ... 29. Yan Dong arrived, and I decided to keep the habit of taking a cold bath, but I washed it and found myself. I found myself. It turned back to childhood! Intersection Intersection 30. The celery walked and walked, and suddenly felt that the stomach was painful, and then he said "卟", what did you say that he had pulled out ~~ ?? That's the diligence (diligent) !!! Dishes) What color is dung ?????? Answer: yellow because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)
Joke 1 .. Obviously his father never let the child speak when eating. During a meal, my father saw what he wanted to speak and said to him, "Child, what do you want to say?" "Dad, is the flies delicious?" Obviously asked. "No!" Father said, "Why are you asking this?" "There is one in your plate just now, you swallow it." n, a girl is usually very strict by her mother. Once I was called to watch a movie by my boyfriend, my mother told: "Go out and let the man take it cheaply by the man. If he touches you, you say you don't, you will stop it." The girl Remember, when she came back at night, her mother asked her if she was taken cheaply. The girl cried and said, "Occupied, he touched me together, and I taught it as you taught," Don't stop, don't stop. "
The three -husband and wife dialogue . Before marriage, a pair of lovers had such a dialogue Male: It's great! The days I look forward to finally come, I can't wait Against! women: Can I regret now? Male: No, don't think about it! women: Do you love me? Male: Of course! women: Will you betray me? Male: No, how can you come up with this idea? women: Can you kiss me? Male Only a moment! women: Do you might hit me? Male: never possible! women: Can I believe you? There is another dialogue on the couple. Coincidentally, the content of the dialogue is just the same as this dialogue, but it must be seen from the bottom up.
jokes 4. In the morning, my brother saw the table. There was a bottle on it, which was equipped with "oatmeal" and took him as breakfast. At this time, my brother returned in the morning, finished the comb, sitting in front of the table to repair his feet, and suddenly asked his brother: "Have you seen me put me on the place where I put it on? The bottle on the table, where I have the foot of my feet ... "
1. Yesterday, I dreamed that God said that it would satisfy me a wish. I took out the earth and said that he wanted the world peace. He said that it was too difficult to change one. I took out your photo and said that this person would become beautiful. He thought for a while. Take a look.
2. A woman is ugly, and she cannot marry, hoping to be trafficked. Finally dreaming came true, but couldn't sell it half a month. The kidnappers returned it back. She resolutely did not get out of the car. The kidnapper gritted her teeth: Go, the car does not need
3, 20 years ago, my father hugged you and waited for the car. Cried. The old man who sold bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, take a banana for the monkey! It's so pitiful. A parrot said to the stewardess: "Give a glass of water for the grandfather." The pig also learned the parrot and said to the stewardess: "Come a cup of water for the grandfather." The stewardess was furious and threw the parrot and the pig. At this time, the parrot said to the pig: "Silly, the grandfather will fly."
5. There is an old farmer in the ground, a crow flew, pulled the shit and fell on the old farmer's face On the top, the old farmer looked up and scolded: "Relying on your mother! I don't know how to wear pants when I go out!" The crow said, "Damn! You shit to wear pants!"
6. A moment of rise, I bought a female parrot. I didn't expect to take it home. The first sentence it said was: "Do you want to go to bed with me?"
In when Ms. heard: Break, outsiders thought this was taught. Destroy my lady's image. So she tried her best to say something elegant, but the female parrot was iron -hearted, and she only said one sentence: "Do you want to go to bed with me?" Woolen cloth? When the lady lost her claim, I heard that the priest also had a parrot (male), and the parrot, not only did not speak rough, but was a devout Christian, praying most of the day. So the lady went to the priest for help. After the priest understood her intention, her complexion said slightly: "This, it is difficult to do. In fact, the parrot did not deliberately teach it. For reason. "
The priest saw that the lady was very lost, and said," So, you bring the parrot to me, and I put them together. I hope that after a period of time, your parrot can be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be. I can only do this. If there is any effect, it depends on God's will ... "
Mades can only do this, isn't there a saying: Is there a saying: Is the Zhu Zhechi? Try it. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest placed the two parrots together according to the promise. At the beginning of the female parrot, there was still a bit restrained. Looking at the corner of the cage, the male parrot prayed silently, and he really couldn't bear it. But she still couldn't control herself, and finally said, "Do you want to go to bed with me?"
The male parrot heard this, stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrot, and suddenly tears under the rain: "Thank you God, my wish for so many years has finally realized ... "
7. Girls don't say that
The man said to a woman:" I invite you to dinner. "
The female said: "Make a change."
8. Money -saving barrel
has a widow to buy cucumber and instructed not to sliced, but the forgotten of the cucumber was cut. When the widow saw it, he scolded: "Do you fucking as a money barrel?"
9. Internship
. A large group of girls go to the farm for internship, the farm bishop squeeze milk, demonstrate After finishing, teach everyone to try it in person. At this time, a girl saw that others had squeezed a small half -cylinder and it was only a little bit, which was very puzzled. The farmer came to see: Miss, you not only squeezed the wrong place, but also chose the wrong cattle.
10. A handsome guy wants to buy condoms
The handsome guy wants to buy condoms. Oh, no 7 inches ... Oh, God, hurry up to toilet paper. Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence Essence
11. Seeing his ex -girlfriend and Xinhuan flirting
The shadow pig was just abandoned by his girlfriend. He happened to be a girlfriend on the street and flirting with Xinhuan. So he was very polite and greeted him, and said to his girlfriend Xinhuan very contempt: "You're not disliked the old goods I have used!" When he was proud of himself, his ex -girlfriend laughed: "One inch outside is old, and the inside is brand new!"
12. I missed
Neram names, if the final score is not deducted at the end of the period! When I read a brother, I jumped over, so he shouted, "Teacher, you missed it!"
The old teachers who took the Huajia year to look down and said, "No ~"
13. In a summer, a young man in slippers, on a bus, he sat down and lifted Erlang's legs. On the opposite side, a girl wearing a mini skirt (not wearing underwear), the car, the car, the car, the car opened! Intersection Sudden! A brake! The young man's feet were inserted into the girl's BB, hey! That's it! After two days, the girl felt that her BB was uncomfortable, so she went to the hospital to the hospital. As soon as the doctor checked, he said, "Wow, your BB gets athlete, strange"
At this moment, the door was pushed pushed by pushing After opening, the other doctor came in and said, "What's strange about this? Just now there is a young man's feet with syphilis!".
14. Before the dressing dance, the wife suddenly became uncomfortable, so she called her husband to go to the meeting. Later, the wife consciously got better, so she changed into a fashion that her husband had never seen before, and drove to the ball. As soon as she entered the door, the wife saw her husband and other women scolding and scolding, and couldn't help but jealous and burn, and decided to test the husband. She walked beside her husband, she was charming, and she hugged her arms. In the end, he seduced him to the back garden and enjoyed it. At midnight, the wife left quietly when everyone was about to take off the mask. Her husband did not return until 3 am.
"How about the dance?" The wife asked. "It's not fun at all." Husband answered. "What exactly did you do there?"
The wife asked again again. "Tell you honestly," Husband said, "When I got there, I saw a few friends who didn't bring his wife, so we played cards in the study." "Are you playing cards all night?" Scream. "Yes, but I borrowed my clothing and mask to another old friend. The guy boasted to me at the end of the ball, saying that this was the most wonderful night in his life!
15. On the night of the cave, the bride has taken off the clothes to go to bed.
The groom also took off his shirt, shirt, and tie, but when he was in the shoe, he encountered trouble. As he connected, the bride hurriedly said, "It's stupid, there is a knife there, and the knife is cut off! "
The bride's mother in order to understand everything, she wondered in the next room. When she heard the bride said so, she yelled:" No, you can't use a knife. " "She said," Tell him, just apply some saliva. "
16. There is a couple. Husband likes to play bured balls but also afraid of his wife. His wife loves smoking. One night, his wife found that her cigarette was finished, so she asked her husband to buy it. There was no way to buy it, but it was very late. The nearby small sales department was closed. This could be tushed. The husband suddenly thought that the bar should be selling smoke. There was a beautiful lady on the stage, so he walked forward to chat with the lady, and then opened the room together.
In the middle of the night, the husband suddenly thought of forgetting to buy cigarettes for his wife, and he was afraid of his own. The wife knew that he would kill him afterwards, so he asked the lady if she had talc powder. The lady was very strange but she was still given him. The husband put the talc powder on his own hand and went home. When I saw my wife standing there, my wife asked my husband: "Where did you die! "
The husband replied honestly," There is no place to sell smoke on the roadside, I went to the bar and went to the bar. I saw a beautiful lady. "
The wife said to her husband after listening," Put out your hand! "
The husband obediently stretched out his hand to let his wife look at it. The wife said angrily," Don't say you are going to play the ba "with friends!" What's wrong with your hand! "
17. There are couples to stay in the suburbs. The owner of the hotel told them to contain more, because there is often a phenomenon of power outages at night. Instead, they think it is very exciting, so they agreed that as soon as the power outage is found, they will be intimidated once.
Sure enough to stop the electricity every two hours. After several times, the man had to drag his tired body to find a hotel to find a hotel. The boss discussed; "Boss, I would like to pay more money, but please help, change it to four hours to stop the electricity? "
The hotel owner said with a smile:" I am happy to help you, but unfortunately you have stepped a step late. Just now your girlfriend has paid more money, the condition is to stop electricity every half an hour. Intersection "
18. Carrots saw the ham sausage and said: Wow! Really rich, all wearing leather clothes. Ham sausage: What is this, you look at the sausages, wearing leather, we are still wearing This artificial leather.
19. Kangaroo and frogs go chicken. Kangaroo is finished three or two times, only the frog next door is one, two or three! , Kangar said, "Wow! ~~ Brother Frog, you are great! "The frog said," CAO, Lao Tzu didn't jump into bed overnight! ~~
20. There is a shy little boy, a good -looking and elegant woman. Shy, he secretly observed her life every day, and finally found a cycle -she would eat noodles in a certain shop every day.
He felt that the timing was already mature, so he first waited for her to wait for her one day. When she entered the shop, he took a deep breath and courage to ask her name.
said, "Miss, what is your name?"
The lady opened her big eyes and said to him, "My name is beef noodles."
21. The couple danced in the ballroom. The husband said with emotion: "This world is really weird, and the ugly stupid man has a beautiful wife." The wife smiled and said, "Dear, you will really shoot."
22. The love letter of Zhu Bajie (funny)
Magnolia: Hello!
Yesterday, a sad day in the world finally left. I want to be with the other two old bachelors, one named Sun Wukong and the other named Tang Seng, and it may only come back to Xitian for three or five years.
Murn the mood when I leave Gao Laozhuang? I am three steps and a pig's head. How do I want to stay in Gao Laozhuang and live a happy life of communism. I have plowed the field, you woven, I pick dung, you stock up. He and Meimei, love and love. When your father straighted his legs, we worked together to give birth to a large group of pigs. Then work together to send them to study, and in the future, it will be cultivated into a million pigs and Dr. Pig. A sense of accomplishment. When we are so old that there is only one incisor, we will not regret because of the years of virtuality, nor will we be ashamed of inaction. We dare to pat the fat and say that all our lives and all their energy are all our energy. It has been dedicated to the most magnificent career of pigs and struggles for the penetration of pigs.
. Unfortunately, all these beautiful dreams were broken by the damn monkey. Let you take it away, and I also burn my hole. I worked hard for so many years, saved money, dare to kill three hundred steamed buns in a meal, and finally bought the snowflakes of twenty -inch color TVs, and a bulldozer passing fan, all of which were dedicated by the dead monkey. Love donation to the hardest hit area-Yan Wang. Although color TVs are often full of snowflakes, electric fans often emit bullet -like roar, which are all piled up. Dead monkeys, if it wasn't for him, I would definitely kill him, chop it into a lot, and dry it under the sun. The monkey hasn't eaten it, one day I will let you taste it.
The damn monk, what bird sutra to go to Xitian. I suggest that he uses the door to mail to the door, or the door to Hong Kong is air transport. He didn't listen to it, so he had to take it by himself. He is timid and has to call a big group of people. In addition, there are also fear of aircraft, ramores, terror ships ... In addition to riding a mule horse with a severe homosexual tendency, what he sees. There are also this kind of blame, and the country should quickly pay for money and set up a protective fund. Besides, what's the use of it? It is purely placed in the study as the facade, which makes people unable to know the identity of his peasant entrepreneurs. I know so much. You can't say it, catching up with the superior Rulai is an old confusion, and Guanyin happens to be menopause. It annoyed me to be easy to laid off. There is no way, there are difficulties to go, and there is no difficulty to create difficulties.
Magnolia, really reluctant to be reluctant. As the saying goes, one day husband and wife hundreds of days, our husband and wife are two years, although you always hold the sharp scissors, I have never touched you with one finger, and we have no one. Get a driving license from the bed issued by the civil affairs department, but after all, we have lived together for two years. Thinking of the little bit of we live together, I am like a knife hinge (this is an idiom, Lanlan, I am afraid you don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand. So to explain it, it means to hold my heart in my hand and cut it with scissors. I checked a lot of dictionaries to find out). I know you are uncomfortable in your heart, but what can be? Ancient people: If the two feelings are in the morning and evening (the ancestor is a bit yellow, please do not blame the lady), Magnolia, you must wait for me to come back. And I will definitely organize the return of the township to kill. In this regard, Lanmei must have confidence.
Mi Lanmei and Lanhua Tingting Jade
Peor brother Bajie tears book
Xuantong 13 years of Gengzi
3, "Journey to the West": There was a sincere sincerity The love is in front of me. I didn't cherish it. When I lost it, I regret it. The most painful thing in the world is there. Your sword is cut off on my throat! Don't hesitate anymore! If God can give me a chance to come again, I will say three words to that girl: I love you.如果非要在这份爱上加上一个期限，我希望是——一万年rnrn 周星弛泡妞经典对白(先有心理准备..~笑死你)rn
. Bus platform
Week Xingxing: "Miss you stepped on my feet."
beautiful chick: "No, I'm so far away from you."
Week Xingxing: "I mean, if you accidentally put your feet on my feet, just step on my feet."
"
Week Xingxing:" Wow, Miss Good Eyes, I do have a history of neuropathy, and generally see beautiful girls. That's it, saying something boring, intentionally attracted the girl's intention. It seems that I think I am handsome.
Week Xingxing: "Miss you wrong, I never thought I was handsome, but I was myself. Very handsome. "
beautiful chick:" Don't be so disgusting. I want to vomit. "
Week Xingxing:" I can ask you before you vomit The question?
beautiful chick: "Roll ........."
. On the bus
beautiful chick: "Why is you again? "
Week Xingxing:" Sometimes I really do everywhere. Sitting next to me. "
Week Xingxing:" Miss, you figured it out, I just sat in a empty position, and there was just you next to the empty position. "
.
Per beautiful chick: "Why don't you go in front of the empty position? "
Week Xingxing:" Oh, understand, do you want to see my ass, or I use your butt to see you? "
beautiful chick:" Quickly roll ... "
3. Get off the bus
Intersection "
Week Xingxing:" It's not because of you anyway! I like to wander. "
beautiful chick:" I sue you sexually harass, which unit you? "
Week Xingxing:" Are you talking about a catty or Jiao Er, Newton? "
Per beautiful chick:" Am I familiar with you? I always say this kind of nonsense, I'm sorry, I don't have a cold! "
Week Xingxing:" Yeah, we are not familiar with it at all. We are like two blue strawberries with a branch. After watching a few times a few times, I learned a few words of Tang Seng. Do you think you are humorous? "
Week Xingxing:" Humor is natural, to blame my mother. By the way, my dad ... "
beautiful chick:" Nerve. "
Week Xingxing:" Your mother's nerves. "
beautiful chick:" your mother's nerves. "
Week Xingxing:" You you Looking at you, it is obviously your mother, but you want to say that it is my mother. Do you want to ... "
beautiful chick:" Give me ... "
. The door of Kenyou
Per beautiful chick: "No, why am I so unlucky and encounter you."
n weeks Once, I think the sin of my life must be very important. Dare. I will call. "
beautiful chick:" What is it? "
Week Xingxing:" Non -gift. "
beautiful chick:" Do you think someone will care about you? "
Week Xingxing: "It's not good, I don't come back."
beautiful chick: "Tianla, you have such a rogue, it is really blind! "
Week Xingxing:" Well, yes, otherwise there will be no so -called elite in the world. "
beautiful chick:" .... .... "
5. Kenyi
beautiful chick:" Don't talk, I am annoying when you speak. "
Zhou Xingxing: "I haven't said it yet, is it good to say something? "
The beautiful chick:" I told you not to say it, you talk about just flies, disgusting. "
Week Xingxing:" Oh, Originally, it can play such a big role. It is really amazing, weeping ghosts, can I do part -time job? "
beautiful chick:" What do you do? " N -week Xingxing: "Go to the hospital to help people apply gastric."
beautiful chicks: "You didn't save it, go back to the cooking early."
Week Xingxing : "I have no request before dying. I just want to say a few words to you, and I'm afraid you will not agree. Do you promise?"
beautiful chick Consider. "
Week Xingxing:" Will you ask me if you want me? n
6. Kentucky
beautiful chick: "Do you have no girlfriend? Sursing on Sunday?"
Week Xingxing: "Accurate I said that I do n’t have a girlfriend, but there are female friends, what do you ask this? n Week Xingxing: "Okay, why not? You seem to be a person I love. "
beautiful chick:" Who? .. "
Week Xingxing:" My old mother. She also always likes to ask this. "
beautiful chicks:" If not on the street, there are so many people on the street Looking at it, I really want to beat you. "
Week Xingxing:" I'm not afraid of others to see you beat me, what are you afraid of? How about you, don't you accompany your boyfriend? "
Per beautiful chick:" Don't care! "
Week Xingxing:" Oh, I understand. I was abandoned by my boyfriend, I wanted to find a psychological balance. Simply. Let me find it, I don't want to find. "
Week Xingxing:" Consider me, I eat some loss. "
It's disgusting. "
Week Xingxing:" I can act as your interim actor unconditionally, if you need a boyfriend, please play *********** "
Per beautiful chick: "By then,"
Week Xingxing: "Tell me your phone,"
Let's talk about it again. I will scold you again. .................rnrn 七.各自回家rnrn 漂亮小妞:“奇怪,我真的好想发Scolding him. "
Week Xingxing:" Hehe. "She doesn't mess with me to scold me."
beautiful chicks: I like the rogue? There were two birds who raised the gun and fell down one, and found that there was no hair. The hunter was wondering, and the other bird flew down and scolded the hunter: "You TM! As soon as I picked her up, you hit her! "
25. In the middle of the night, Bush saw Laden standing in front of his bed, and his head was distributed. Bush was shocked: You are so bold, dare to break through the White House! Laughing, saying: Piaorou is so confident!
26. Because of the poor mountain areas, men are used to make underwear with urea bags, a newcomer is married, men remove trousers, bride, bride, bride Screaming, fainting: I saw the positive "net weight 25 kg" in the front of the underwear.
27. One day, the sparrow met a crow, the sparrow asked: What are you bird? Phoenix, the sparrow said: How can you have such a black phoenix like your turtle son? The crow said: You know a shovel, Lao Tzu is the phoenix with a boiler.
1. In the body of the human body, the female model plays a good posture.
A boy raised his hand and said, "Report the teacher, it is not this posture yesterday."
said, "How to adjust?"
It should be left to the left, the right leg should be left to the right! "
2, a lady saw the B -ultrasound checklist given by the doctor but did not know where to do it.
Miss: Doctor, where is this 13 super?
D doctor: not 13 super, B -ultrasound!
Miss: You are too open! (Loud)
3, Xiaoming: "What is the happiest thing"?
A dumb: "sex"!
Xiaoming: "That's happier than this"?
A dumb: "Do it again"!
4, a small teacher eats.
The students to lead students to read the text on one day.
Teacher: "Day ... Day ... Japanese devils entered the village"
The students followed: "Day ... Japan ... Japanese devils enter the village."
The teacher next to the class laughed.
This teacher is anxious and said to the students: "No matter how many times I, you only once a day."
5, A Dang: "Why don't the ramen I want? Wait a long time!"
guy: "Don't worry, the master is pulling!"
said The master came with the hot noodles, and said enthusiastically: "This is what I just pulled! Still hot! Please eat and eat!"
6, the salesman was busy for a week because of his work for a week If he is not at home for five days, he naturally apologize to his wife and wants to use her full weekend to compensate her!
One Saturday, when they were intimate on the bed where they could make a quack ... Suddenly! Intersection
The old lady next door knocked on the wall hard and shouted: You are endless! Intersection Intersection Seven days a week! Can't you rest for a day?
7, the president and his wife inspect the pig farm.
President: "How many times do you mate with the sow for a day?"
Lord: "There are average ten times a day!"
People! Look at you again! "
President:" Is that kind of pig mating with the same sow every day? "
Lord:" No, it is mating with different sows Yes. "
The president said to his wife," Look at others! Look at you again! "
8, Mr. Lin's wife's birthday, asked Lin Sheng to take her to the strip dance hall to open the market to open away At the horizon, Lin Sheng was entangled, and he had to do it.
When he went to the door of the striptea, the waiter said politely: "Mr. Lin, welcome to" Mr. Lin stopped nervously, but Mrs. Lin looked at it angrily.
Thenading the dancer, the leader: "Welcome, Mr. Lin, do you still sit on the old seat?"
The performance of the performance, the strip dancer twisted the waist and the wares with the rhythm of music, took off the clothes on the body one by one.
This shouting: "Who is this one?"
"Of course, Mr. Lin!" The guests said in unison.
In at this time, Mrs. Lin was faint.
Mr. Lin quickly picked her up and took a car.
Mrs. Lin suddenly soberly cursed: "You scammer bastard, beast!"
This driver listened to the driver, "Mr. Lin, the girl you are looking for tonight is very spicy. ! "
9, a couple Qingqing I am affectionate.
women: What do you think now?
men: the same as you think.
The woman immediately slapped the man and scolded: You hooligan!
10, the monitoring teacher who eats a bite found that a student was cheating, and he pointed at the student and yelled: You ... you ... you ... you ... you dare to cheat, stand up!
The language, 5 students stood up!
11, a psychiatric person screamed: I am president, you all have to listen to me!
This doctor asked him: Who said?
I patients: God said.
I heard here, a patient next to him jumped up: I never said it!
12, Mom and Dad took A Dang to the beach in California for vacation.
foreigners on the beach are naked naked.
A Dad: Dad, why is your chickens not as big as those uncle?
Daddy: ... because ... those uncle is rich than Dad.
. After a while. A Da wanted to drink cola, and his father went to the shop to buy it.
A Dang and his mother stayed on the beach, but when his father returned, he found that his mother was missing.
Daddy: What about your mother?
A Dad: Dad, after you left, he came to a rich uncle. He looked at my mother, and more and more money was. Later, my mother went with him.
14, the car between Xinjiang and Henan people collided. People from Xinjiang looked down and felt that there were not much problem with the car. Forget it.
people of Henan also smiled and said that there was no problem, taking a bottle of wine from the car.
people from Henan: Big brother, there are no big problems in the car, drink some wine and be shocked!
The Xinjiang people took a big sip and handed them to Henan.
In Xinjiang: Brother, come on too.
Henan people: I am not in a hurry, I will drink after the police come to see it.
15, a female forest lost, was caught by the monkey group by the monkey king.
In a few months after returning home. The husband was anxiously waiting outside the delivery room.
finally came out.
husband: mother and child are safe?
D doctor: Everyone is safe.
husband: boy and girl?
It doctor: I don't know. I ran away before I was born.
16.
In a day of a restaurant to engage in police and civilians, the police eat for free.
In a female policeman walked straight towards the door after eating, and the waiter in the hotel hurried forward to stop her.
Is: Police free, you are not a police officer at a glance, you have to pay!
Is female police: I am a secret police officer, the beard is below!
17, husband drove out.
The wife listened to the radio at home and heard a report, the wife quickly picked up the phone.
Wife: Husband, I just listened to the broadcast that there is a car on the highway that is retrograde. You must be careful.
The husband: What is one? I see hundreds of cars are retrograde.
18, the village chief returned from abroad.
The village chief told his wife that the foreigner's woman was barking on the bed, very embarrassing.
It closure his eyes with his wife at night
Village chief: "Why don't you call?"
n
19, Xiaoxin: Dad, why do I have three gold in my name?
Daddy: You are short of gold in your life, so name is Xin, just like some people who lack water in life, it is named Miao, and some lives are lacking wood.
Xiaoxin: Dad, what do you say that Sister Guo Jingjing lacks?
20, Xiaoming loves to watch detective dramas. From the first minute of the opening, he was looking for the murderer and did not miss a suspicious word or a foreshadowing.
This day, go to the show again, called "Park Street Murder".
Is when the waiter led him to his seat, the curtain just opened.
The waiter: "Are you satisfied with the seat? Sir."
Xiaoming: "Of course, thank you." N Xiaoming: "No, thank you." Xiao Ming thought he should leave, but the waiter did not.
The waiter: "Do you want a program list?"
Xiaoming: "No, thank you."
This: "Then with stills on it."
Xiaoming: "Thank you. "
The waiter:" Or a telescope? "Xiaoming refused angrily.
The waiter asked if he wanted chocolate cakes, or not to have a bottle of champagne, the plot began to be tense.
Amming is angry and anxious: "No, don't, you see the ghosts."
The waiter finally found that he could not make a tip here, so he gave Xiaoming a terrible revenge. On the stage, in Xiaoming's ear full of hatred: "The murderer is the gardener."
1. A male deer, it walks, getting faster and faster, and finally it becomes a highway (deer) !!!!
2. Two tomatoes cross the road, a car passes by, One of them was not too late to be flattened, and the other tomato pointed at the flattened tomato with a smile: dig hahaha, tomato sauce ...
3. "I want to eat you !!!" Guess, what's wrong?
This Big Gray Wolf ate the lamb.
4. Stone and rice cakes fight, and the stone flew into the sea and kicked the rice cake into the sea ...
Fixed life, but boys need to take military service, so they made an oath with the girl and gave the girl a diamond ring. They promised to meet the girl today three years later. At that time, the ring was used as a wedding ring. The year has passed, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she can't wait. She is too sad. She is desperate to throw the diamond ring into the sea and walk away in the country. But the boy has always been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood it The place of dating, so he always became a regret. The boy was sad ... After a few years, the boys went out to fish and guess what he caught?
year cake !!!
5. Girls
This Boys have foreskin because of the dumplings
6. There is a duck called Xiao Huang. One day he was hit by a car, and he yelled, "Oh!" From then on, he became a cucumber !!
7. The match stick suddenly felt itchy, so he reached out and scratched himself ...
8. In the past, there was a bird
R n but unfortunate
one day the fire in the corn field
All corn turned into popcorn
In the birds flying over ...
thought it was under Snow, it was cold ...
9. When will Taiwan want to be unified?
Is when buying instant noodles
10. A pine and Abai have nothing to chat with each other.
A Song: "Recalling children's time, the happiest is Children's Day."
Aba: "After ten years is Youth Day."
Ason The year is Father's Day. "
Abai:" It's the Old Man's Day in more than decades. "
Aatong:" Another decades. "
Abai:" Qingming "
11. Soldiers:" Thirst ... thirst ... "
Cao Cao:" Everyone persist for a while! I used to go to this place, remember that there is a Merlin nearby, and it may be possible for a while for a while. It came "
The soldiers:" Oh, there are plums to eat ￣￣￣ "
half an hour later -Cao Ren:" Lord! The expedition found a lot of water source water sources ! "
Cao Cao:" Hahahaha, do you hear it? Finally, there is water to drink "
The soldiers:" Don't go ... must find a plum ... "12. A girl lost love, I Persuaded her: "The toad with two legs is not easy to find, there are men with three legs!"
13. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I stupid child?" Dad said, "Stupid child How can you be a silly child? "
14. A three -point steak and a 5 -point steak met on the street. Why did they say hello? (Assuming they can speak)
because ............................
because of ..............................
Because they are not familiar with it ~~~~~~~~
15. Question: How to make The sparrow is quiet?
Answer: Press it.
Reason: The crow is silent (silent).
16. A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to the electric pole, and then asked him: "Say, do you have to die if you don't say !!!" This college student returned to the enemy In a word, he was killed by electricity ...
He said, "I am from electricity!"
17. A: "I take you to a place where all girls do not wear bras." n B: "Really? Where is it? Take me to go!"
: "Just in the kindergarten next door!"
18. : "Which female host do you admire the most in your mind?" The audience said, "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked: "Why do you say this?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"
19 Do you know what color is Spider -Man?
red, wrong!
is white
does not believe you read the English of Spider -Man: Spider Man (a white man)
20. Why will Xiao Ming fall?
Please think twice ... ……………………… ..
because the floor is slippery
21. After a group of animals open the party, rush into the 7-11 convenience store to buy things, because it is too noisy, but the shop clerk was beaten out by the clerk. , But staying alone in the store, why is it?
The convenience store is not snoring for 24 hours ..............
22. The glass and coffee cup cross the road. Suddenly someone shouted: The car is coming!
This cup was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was okay. Why?
The coffee cup has ears!
23. One horse said that our company launched a new product, Fart 3, referred to as mp3 ...
24. I hate two people most:
n The second is the black man;
is unknown!
25. I want to thank Ogawa, Chaohelan, Nagase Ai, Mika Ryoko, Takashiko Mary, Kawamoto Dance, Womani Hitomi, Natsuki Mei Xi, Naoshi, Kudo Kwai, Koyama in the hills. , Kishikawa Misui, Nishida Yuki, Sawai Yongjie, Fujiizaki Caihua, Ye Shanyu, Akiraki Chihiro, Matsuyama, Yuki, and Quan Shizuka, etc. Or the exotic friends who are still in the computer: Every night when people are quiet, they have spent one lonely night with me; when my spirit is the most unwilling, they come to comfort me in a timely manner; When you do your best, it is the pleasure of making me feel unobstructed; when my state is sluggish, there is no feelings, it is that they make me spirit with it ~
26. Now the earthquake prediction accuracy has indeed improved a lot. Two words: prediction in "Heilongjiang", but the result is "Jiujiang"!
27. Zhang Liangying said: "The worship of my fans said — the idol is called Ying"
He Jie said, "The worship of my fans said — the idol is called Jie"
Said: "The worship of my fans said — the idol is called Chang"
Li Yuchun said, "You talk, I'll go first!"
28 .. Five Fuwa gathered together to chat.
Belbe proposed: Let's give ourselves a nickname, my name is "Bawa"!
Crystal: Then I am called "Crystal Wa"!
Huanhuan: My name is "Huanwa"!
Nini: My name is "Nava"!
stood up and said: You talk, I have something to do, go first ...
In said that in 2058, five Fuwa gathered together to chat.
Belbe: Let's talk about our nickname, people respect me very much, call me "Beiye"!
I Huanhuan: People call me "Huanye"!
Nini: People call me "Ni Ye"!
Welcoming: People call me "Ying Ye"!
Kengjing stood up and said: You talk, I have something to do, go first ...
29. Yan Dong arrived, and I decided to keep the habit of taking a cold bath, but I washed it and found myself. I found myself. It turned back to childhood! Intersection Intersection
30. The celery walked and walked, and suddenly felt that the stomach was painful, and then he said "卟", what did you say that he had pulled out ~~ ?? That's the diligence (diligent) !!! Dishes) What color is dung ??????
Answer: yellow
because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)
Joke 1 .. Obviously his father never let the child speak when eating. During a meal, my father saw what he wanted to speak and said to him, "Child, what do you want to say?" "Dad, is the flies delicious?" Obviously asked. "No!" Father said, "Why are you asking this?" "There is one in your plate just now, you swallow it." n, a girl is usually very strict by her mother. Once I was called to watch a movie by my boyfriend, my mother told: "Go out and let the man take it cheaply by the man. If he touches you, you say you don't, you will stop it." The girl Remember, when she came back at night, her mother asked her if she was taken cheaply. The girl cried and said, "Occupied, he touched me together, and I taught it as you taught," Don't stop, don't stop. "
The three -husband and wife dialogue
. Before marriage, a pair of lovers had such a dialogue
Male: It's great! The days I look forward to finally come, I can't wait Against!
women: Can I regret now?
Male: No, don't think about it!
women: Do you love me?
Male: Of course!
women: Will you betray me?
Male: No, how can you come up with this idea?
women: Can you kiss me?
Male Only a moment!
women: Do you might hit me?
Male: never possible!
women: Can I believe you? There is another dialogue on the couple. Coincidentally, the content of the dialogue is just the same as this dialogue, but it must be seen from the bottom up.
jokes 4. In the morning, my brother saw the table. There was a bottle on it, which was equipped with "oatmeal" and took him as breakfast. At this time, my brother returned in the morning, finished the comb, sitting in front of the table to repair his feet, and suddenly asked his brother: "Have you seen me put me on the place where I put it on? The bottle on the table, where I have the foot of my feet ... "
There is a polar bear who feels boring after eating a day, so it starts to pull out its hair. When it pulls the last one, it says: